Learning to Crochet Was an Absolute Roller Coaster, Thanks for Asking

According to the one-minute clips that flooded my TikTok last summer, crocheting is a fun hobby to do while watching TV. According to the trends that currently dominate Instagram, I have to have quirky, colorful woven sweaters, dresses made from iconic granny squares and self-knitted bucket hats. So of course I had to crochet a few things. And, um, that’s how it went.

THE LEAD-UP

She delivers.

To start, I bought an obscene amount of yarn and a couple of crochet hooks (when you crochet, you only ever use one hook to make the loops and knots that eventually become a garment). Then I went to YouTube and dried out my eyeballs with hours of instructions on how to do simple sewing (single, double, half double …). Subscribe to Kirrilalia and Ann’s Closet if you want to learn how to make these yourself or understand the differences between British and American nicknames (the latter I couldn’t get into).

BTW, if you want to learn to crochet yourself, you will need everything you need here: yarn, a crochet hook, scissors and a tape measure (not shown above because she is shy).

MONTH 1

Baby wrapped in a hand crocheted blanket

Hello Keanu πŸ™‚

My first project: a soft baby blanket for my best friend who ~ expects ~. (Spoiler alert, your BB is here now and he’s the cutest – ILY, Keanu!) β€œIt should be a rectangle, but let’s just say it’s become more trapezoidal. Fortunately, Keanu doesn’t yet know its shapes.

MONTH 2

Next up are granny squares, then a crop top. With knitwear from brands like Hope Macaulay and Lirika Matoshi as inspiration, I decided to add color blocks to my creation. This is actually relatively normal (!) – it is simply too much too sideways to be carried outside the house.

Crochet granny square

My perfect grandma square.

handmade, crocheted crop top in a color block pattern

The crop top.

MONTH 3

Since I’m absolutely ambitious, I decided it would be cool to make a cardigan. It takes a lot of time to get it right, but I took my entire month. What could go wrong Obviously something, because you may have noticed that the item I’m wearing in the photo below on the left looks more like a vest or, as my editor noted, “a wrap with armholes”.

Girl in a homemade crochet vest

Check out my “cardigan”!

Record of someone's progress in crocheting

My vacation in brief.

The truth is, there was no time for sleeves … or buttons … or any frills. There was only time to sew the back and front pieces together endlessly, forever and ever. Amen. The good news is that I now know: thick yarn = a faster project. The Skinny Kind I Bought = Turn into Mrs. Weasley on my vacation and don’t finish this photo shoot until 5am. I mean, I know I look happy and rested, but LIE. Even so, once I get over this slight trauma, I’ll likely get back to crocheting.

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